It’s Thursday. My last work-free day of the Easter holidays. Remember when I set myself some goals for those holidays? Yeah, me too. Vaguely.
I have done nothing and I mean this quite literally. I’ve have ticked absolutely bloody nothing from my list. No uni work completed, no WeightWatchers tracking, no water drinking, no blog posts and I’ve definitely had a takeaway or 2…
As I sit here, one hand on my keyboard, the other propping up my rounded, chunky face washed with disappointment – my mind runs at 100 miles per hour. I’m scared at how close I am to the end of my uni course with the amount of work left to do and I feel totally confused about my weight loss journey. I’m currently sat at my sister’s dining room table, having driven up to visit for my niece’s birthday and it struck me, so long as I am surrounded by people who love, people who don’t care whether I am 9 stone or 90 stone, I will never better myself. For the first time in a long time, I’ve felt relatively happy with my outfits and accessories and I’ve even taken the plunge and dyed my hair a shade of red that I’m unsure I can pull off but the crux of the matter is, I obviously need something more motivating than myself or at least a bloody good distraction.
Uni should be enough to keep me occupied but at the moment, I don’t really know if I want to be a teacher. Words quite obviously come naturally to me, I could speak to my screen for hours at a time but teaching is a different ball game. One that I’m not used to or not even sure if I enjoy! The only thing that seems to be keeping me satisfied consistently is a couple of giant bags of salty and sweet popcorn!
My mixed feelings have resulted in me being placed on a psychology waiting list to try and figure out what the chuff is going on and why I eat. I just hope it’s not as much as a mystery to them as it is to me.
I’m sorry for doing nothing but whining but as ever, I will try and end my posts on a positive note. Perhaps not with as many goals as before, but with a change of mindset and maybe on the hunt for a new hobby.